


My Kingdom For A Cooling Charm

by liseuse



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-02
Updated: 2010-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-09 21:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/91639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liseuse/pseuds/liseuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Remus wants is a cooling charm and some cold beer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Kingdom For A Cooling Charm

**Author's Note:**

> A mini-fic present for [pale_moonlite](http://pale_moonlite.dreamwidth.org).

  
It was, Remus thought, entirely unfair that the heat of summer always coincided with days that had to be spent inside, surrounded by scrolls and endless notes and no chance of sitting in the park with beer. First there was school with exams, and now there was the world of work where everything seemed busier in the summer. Instead of being outside where there might be a breeze, if nothing else, he was stuck in the labyrinthine stacks of the Ministry library trying to find examples of cases that could be used as evidence of prior consideration for some stupid underling of the Ministry who was, no doubt, right now, sat outside with a cold drink and a working cooling charm. Remus, on the other hand, was sat inside with no drinks and no cooling charm. Apparently they were bad for the books. When the head archivist has told Remus this she had raised an eyebrow in a 'what can you do?' gesture. Clearly she knew that it was all codswallop as well as Remus did, but it was just another of the rules that had to be followed.

'Mr Lupin?' The head archivist poked her head around the wall of Remus's desk. 'There's someone in the lobby to see you.'

'Oh, thank you.' Remus floundered for a moment as he struggled to remember her name. 'I'll be right out.'

'I'll tell him.' She smiled at him. 'Don't forget to cast the protection charm back on those books.'

'I won't.' Remus said as he reached under the desk for his bag. It wasn't until he was sorting out which of the papers were his and could be removed from the premises, and which would set off an alarm that he remembered her name. 'Bronwyn,' he said to himself and then scribbled it on the edge of a piece of paper. 'Really must remember that.'

There was a distinct change in temperature as Remus stepped out of the stacks and through the door to the lobby. It was as if the marble floor was refrigerating the air. He smiled at the wizard guarding the door, handed over his badge and waited for it to be de-spelled.

'Remus!' Sirius's voice was, as always, a bit too loud for the situation. 'I've been waiting hours.'

'Don't lie.' Remus said, as he raised an eyebrow. 'You've been waiting about ten minutes. Thank you Piotr.'

'You're welcome Mr Lupin.' Piotr said as he handed Remus back his badge. 'Enjoy the sunshine.'

'Polite lot in here aren't they.' Sirius sounded a little confused. 'They're never that nice to me when I have to come and do research.'

Remus snickered. 'I can't think why. Couldn't have anything to do with you being a bit loud for the library? And they might still be holding a grudge over that scroll you managed to rip.'

'It was an accident.' Sirius said, somewhat unconvincingly. 'Besides, it was years ago. Think they'd have let go of a grudge by now.'

'Don't be ridiculous. You know full well that Ministry librarians don't let go of grudges. Remember when Madam Pince was off ill for a term and we had that replacement? He has never forgiven me for getting butterbeer on the corner of one page of one book. He still glares at me in the corridor.'

'Oh yeah.' Sirius said. 'I'd forgotten about him. Merlin, he was a stuck up idiot. Anyway, where do you want to go for lunch?'

Remus shrugged. 'Somewhere with a decent cooling charm and cold beer?'

'I know just the place!' Sirius said and turned left. 'Find anything useful in the archives?'

'No.' Remus sounded resigned. 'I don't think I will either. I'm fairly certain that if there was a prior example of being able to break a contract because one of the contractees got accidentally transfigured that someone would have mentioned it.'

'Seems probable.' Sirius laughed. 'But, let me guess, you have to stay in the stacks searching until you can prove that there is absolutely nothing there that is of use.'

'Yes.' Remus said heavily. 'Which, given the size of the stacks could mean I'm there until I'm thirty.'

'Don't whine Moonshine. It's a bad sound on you.' Sirius said as he drew his wand, and tapped at the hedge. 'Maybe you'll get let off for good behaviour when you're twenty-nine.'

Remus laughed and stepped through the gate that had appeared in the hedge. 'Oh God that's nice.' He sighed with relief as the cooling charm hit him.

'Mmm.' Sirius murmured in agreement. 'Right, you go sit down, I'll go get beer.'

'I can buy my own beer.' Remus said tightly. 'I'm not a charity.'

'You'd be a bloody awful charity. I think they like taking money. And I know you can buy your own sodding beer.' Sirius said, sounding a little offended. 'You can get the next round, all right?'

'Sorry.' Remus said, and went off to find a table.

'Beer, glorious beer!' Sirius said happily and swallowed a large mouthful.

'Truly a wonder of the modern world.' Remus said through a mouthful of chip. 'Someone should write an ode to it.'

'Maybe later. And stop stealing my chips.' Sirius reached out for the plate protectively. 'I bet no one looks at you and sees what a pilferer of food you really are.'

'I confuse them all with my meek demeanour.' Remus agreed and stole another chip. 'They think I'm innocent and nice.'

Sirius's eyes glinted. 'Oh yeah, paragon of virtue our Moonshine. Wonder what they'd say if they saw you in bed.'

'My delicate ears wouldn't be able to handle it.' Remus said, a little archly. 'They'd be awestruck.'

Sirius laughed, one of his loud barking ones and a witch sat a few tables over jumped a little in her seat.

'I'm offended now.' Remus pouted over the rim of his glass. 'I'm going to comfort myself with some more of your chips. So nyah!'

'Sorry,' Sirius said, not sounding sorry in the least. 'I just had this image of you, spread out on the bed, with your cock in my mouth and people watching at the doorway and taking notes.' He slapped Remus's hand away from the chip bowl. 'Be a bloody good headline in the paper.'

'Yeah.' Remus finished the last of his pint. 'Perhaps we should go and practice. Can't be out of kilter for our big show in the _Daily Prophet_.'

'That would never do,' Sirius grinned, and reached down to pinch Remus's arse before side-alonging him home.


End file.
